3. Drama: My anti-dating

When we last left our protagonist, AJ, she was crawling into bed after an emotionally exhausting day of dealing with school troubles, friendship issues, a dying grandma, and the fact that her evil twin brother Stefan was also her father...

Okay, so the last part isn't true. But the rest is, and when I crawled in bed, I wanted to sink into oblivion for a while. So amid the chicken squabbles of my creepy neighbors fighting over who wants to cap whom and other such nonsense, I dozed off.

Nine minutes later, I awake to shouts of, "Lauren, STOP!" "No! You stop!" "I'm sorry, just hang on a second!" Now... normally, I'd just put in ear plugs and let them kill each other. I don't really have the time to fill out police reports after all, so why be a witness? But alas, no ear plugs were to be found. So I'm forced to listen to this rendition of Drunken Apartment Dwellers 90210.

Lauren-"If you're so sorry, why did you do it?"
Man-"Just shut up and leave it alone. Go home, get some rest."
Lauren-"Don't tell me to shut up! I knew I never should have dated you!"

Aha! I just realized it. They were filming an episode of the Hills outside my apartment window. I knew I'd heard that crappy writing somewhere before. So I laid there among my comfy blankets and fluffy pillows, listening to their anonymous drama being shouted at two in the morning, wondering how I could explain away ignoring a gun shot...should I hear one, when finally, there is silence. Huzzahs all around. I can finally get some sleep............. I can't fall asleep.

Crap.

I contemplate hopping in my car and driving the hour back to my parent's house for the night. This kind of retarded drama never happens there. They live in the country. Worst noise there is a deer farting in the woods. But sadly, I didn't want to drive, so I laid there in wait for the elusive sleep monster to swallow me whole.

Finally, it attacked. I was content.....nine minutes later, they returned.

Man-"LAUREN! CHILL THE FUCK OUT!!"
Lauren-"NO! YOU CHILL OUT! I'M ALLOWED TO BE MAD!"

*twitches* Not at three in the morning you aren't. Not when I'm trying to sleep, and there's currently none of that happening in here. I felt like I was being cock blocked from sleep. Sleep blocked, perhaps? So with Vietnam flashbacks of fights in my own past relationships, I army crawled to my window to ID the perpetrators so I could go in for an embarrassing daylight confrontation to let them know that they need to keep the drama inside like any normal fighting couple would. Sadly, I couldn't spot them. It was dark, rainy, and my contacts were soaking away in acid... Screw it.

So I army crawled back in bed, their fighting came to a close, and I fell back to sleep after another two hours of praying the sleep monster made it a quick death. And people wonder why I'm wary to date these days.