1. Where to start?

This is a very exciting day for me. I mean, come on, my first post on this shiny new blog? Yep, a monumental day. Give me a moment to bask in the glory of it. *basks*

Okay, enough basking. So you may be wondering, what the heck is this blog about? Well, as you may have noticed from the title, it's about my views on life, love.....and you guessed it, the size of my ass. Well, not really MY ass, but just asses in general. Wait, okay, maybe that didn't come out correctly. Well, anywho. I can see you scratching your heads in just a bit of confusion, so let's break this down into the three basic categories so things make a little more sense.

I will be talking about...

1. Life- For instance, today while driving to campus, two girls walked right out in front of my car. Now while my first reaction on a good day would normally be "Ooo... 20 points!" When I'm in a rush, this isn't the same. No, my reaction is to slam on my brakes, shout profanity at them through my open window, and then gun the car for the nearest intersection filled with small children and fluffy animals. After all, even on my bad days, I am an equal opportunity un-safe driver. (insert improper female driver joke here) Now, here's where I'll insert other anecdotes and probably offensive jokes. Sorry in advance. Now class, let's move on...

2. Love- A friend and I decided today that the reason we don't date is because we don't want to be one half of a boring couple. Yes, you know these people. They sit around and do nothing together. Or rather, all they do is watch movies together, or play video games. No one else is included, and they never emerge from their happy couple lair. Not that anyone wants to invite them places. Now I'll pause here because I'll be going into more detail about this particular topic later. And finally....

3. The size of my ass- Yes. A strange topic indeed. my ever elusive ass. No, I'm not actually going to be talking about the state of my ass, so all you internet creepers can just go away now. I will probably write about my trials and tribulations trying to lose weight. No, this will not be an inspirational blog with a weight tracker and all the calories I've eaten for a year and such. I'm not that dedicated. Mostly, you'll just see me bitch about it a lot.

All right, and now that this has gotten unbearably long, have a lovely night, and stop thinking about my ass.